Tuesday, March 20, 2007

my parents

Today I am grateful for my mom and dad. I'm grateful to them for all the love they gave me, for sharing their multitudes of talents with me, for teaching me, for being patient with me, for the closeness we shared even though sometimes it felt incredibly difficult. I miss them like a part of me is gone, but still there, just different.

I am grateful that the difficulties of being with them through their illnesses, watching their bodies and minds deteriorate and everything that went with that, watching them suffer and struggle and come to resolution and pass on - I'm grateful that all of this is behind me. I'm grateful that I feel complete with them and that I have no resentments and that my heart fills with love when I think of them. I'm grateful for all of this.

I am grateful for the outline that Swami G finally brought and used during meditation class tonight! Thank you universe for answering my prayers! I never thought it would happen and I thought about it so much I could barely drag myself to class tonight, thinking of him floundering around through the same material over and over. I could not believe it when I saw the beautifully typed outline sitting on top of the harmonium when I walked in and sat down! Someone must have been listening! Thank you!

I am grateful that I've finally given myself a break from internal and external pressure to be doing more with my life right now. I am grateful that I have stopped beating myself up for taking the time I need to heal and I am grateful that I am allowing myself to be however I need to be. I am grateful that I am standing in my own shoes without letting other people's projections/opinions/criticism/praise/whatever influence the way I feel about my self. This is the biggest gift of all.

2 comments:

Sharon said...

I really enjoyed reading your post today. Very touching.

Rad8love said...

Thanks!